


Pretty Dreams, Pretty Lies

by aFigureOfSpeech



Category: Ben 10 Series
Genre: Dark, F/M, Future Fic, Introspection, Obsession, POV Male Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-03-18
Updated: 2011-03-18
Packaged: 2017-10-17 02:09:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,570
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/171835
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aFigureOfSpeech/pseuds/aFigureOfSpeech
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>And then he would wake up. But that was okay, because they never really stopped.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pretty Dreams, Pretty Lies

**Author's Note:**

> For [Warse-no-miko](http://warse-no-miko.deviantart.com/)'s Gwevin contest from ages ago. There's a bit in here blatantly based on some of [kikikun](http://kikikun.deviantart.com/)'s [art](http://kikikun.deviantart.com/art/Did-you-miss-me-67023388?q=gallery%3Akikikun%2F280793&qo=148) too.

He was dreaming of her. Again. That made every night this week.

Again.

 _(To the general public he was known as Kevin 11,000 now-a-days; he generally tried to avoid having others call him Kevin Levin as the name often went hand-in-hand with too many memories from the time when he had used it. Likewise, people never called him just Kevin without some sort of perverse death wish; to business associates he was Levin or Mr. Levin. There were only two people in the world that still referred to him by just first name, and only one of them would avoid repercussion.)_

For one Mr. Kevin Levin, dreaming of a certain lovely red-head was far from an unusual occurrence. She always entered his mind at some point during the day, guaranteed; at night she most often took center-stage in what could range from fantasies _(it was the two of them, together, happy, now and then with a decapitated Ben in a closet someplace)_ to nightmares _(he was holding her and she was sleeping only there was something wrong she wasn’t moving wasn’t breathing and she wouldn’t wake **up** )._

Some nights he’d wake up panting. Some nights screaming. Some nights both. Good or bad though, he did not ever want them to stop. At night, in his head; that was the only time he was ever close to her now. They were pretty lies, his dreams, short, blessed illusions that allowed him to escape temporarily from reality _(a cruel, pain-filled reality in which she existed but he couldn’t quite reach her)_ to the fantastic _(which was that much crueler really because for a little while he could reach her touch her hold her have her love her – and then he woke up)._

But no matter how brief, how fleeting, there would always be more dreams the next night, and the next, and that was all that mattered.

 _(To the general public she was known as Gwendolyn Tennyson now-a-days. He always found it kind of funny, in a way, the things other people called her: Plumber. Anodite. Energy-being. Hero. The list went on and on, public figure like she was. But he liked to call her other things: Strong. Stubborn. Amazing. His. And so many more things he couldn’t even think of. He still always called her Gwen too – what could he say, he had always been a man of routine and he neither tried nor appreciated changing his habits – despite what she told others about being “Gwendolyn, not Gwen.” She said it sounded more mature. That sure made him grin a bit._

 _He wondered if she changed her name for the same reasons he did.)_

At some point, he had noticed that these dreams increased even more so in frequency and vividness when he was out of the Null Void. Kevin was quite sure of it, as this was the fourth time he had escaped; he was seriously wondering when Ben would actually realize that perhaps the Null Void wasn’t the best place to “contain” him. Oh well. _(Ben’s loss was Kevin’s gain – exactly as it should be.)_

The first time Kevin got out, it led to what was without a doubt the best and happiest time of his life. Oh sure, it had gotten a little bumpy now and again, but he had been young and stupid and that’s just what teenagers _did._ But despite all that, despite all his major shortcomings and rough edges and their entire previous history, he and Gwen had finally started going out. Oh sure, it took two years, plus some rather idiotic, interfering boyfriends, but it was Kevin who was always there when they left (and they always left, sooner or later – sometimes he even got Ben in on it, if he could convince the brunette the guy deserved it enough), and it was Kevin who finally got her in the end. Of course, he had to go screw up royally just two more short years later _(far, far too short, and once again he was young and stupid)_ , and kicked back into the Null Void.

It would take him another five years to break out again _(but he always did – not even an alternate dimension would keep Kevin Levin from what he truly wanted)_. This time however he knew going straight after her would result in another imprisonment; he wanted to taste his freedom for a little while longer. So instead he filled his days with shady dealings and his nights with women – pale imitations and cheap knockoffs of the one he so often dreamed about. After the first night though, he never gave a name.

 _(He had been keeping his eyes either half-lidded or entirely closed, and managed so fully to immerse himself in a fantasy that it was her beneath him, moaning and willing, that when she had screamed his name Kevin had made the mistake of opening his eyes, eager to see Gwen’s enchanting face. But she wasn’t Gwen, and he lost control of himself. Bad things happened when he lost control of himself._

 _He had to leave the hotel quickly after that. The cleaning lady certainly wouldn’t be happy the next morning. Possibly traumatized for life. Grinning, he almost wished he had stayed to watch._

 _But that was beside the point. All following women were not told his name so that he wouldn’t have to suffer hearing it from any’s lips but the only person allowed to say it.)_

Then, go figure, one of them got pregnant.

The kid looked kind of like him, which was hard sometimes, but he looked nothing like _her_ , which was damn near unbearable. To top it off, the little freak’s only apparent power was to turn into that godawful amalgam of alien bits _he_ used to be trapped as _(oh yeah, **that** brought back pleasant memories)_. Still though, just to prove it – though what exactly he wasn’t sure – Kevin stuck around and made sure the kid knew how to survive on his own. Of course, he knew he was going to leave eventually; it was what dads did. Even if they didn’t, it was what Kevin did, whether voluntary or involuntary. He had to make sure Devlin would live long enough to help him bust out if Benjie ever caught up.

 _(To the general public he was known Ben 10,000 now-a-days; he never seemed to tire of playing the big hero. To Kevin he would always be that little kid that got in the way of everything: his plans, his life, any kind of happiness he could have had. Sure, he had brought Gwen to Kevin in the first place, but that didn’t make up for turning him into a monster in the first place. Or throwing him into the Null Void and leaving him to rot. Or ruining a lifetime’s worth of opportunities. Only Gwen herself could soothe the festering wound of those past grievances.)_

Of course, Ben didn’t need to catch up if Kevin did some stupid things. _She_ always made him do stupid things. It was the flashy lights and the pounding music and that tight green shirt she was wearing, and probably those couple of drinks he’d had not to mention he’d barely seen her in what? Thirteen years? It was a long time. And them he was behind her _(so close so close so close)_ , grabbing her wrist _(her little, fragile wrist that completely belied its true, awe-inspiring power)_ and leaning over to whisper in her ear a seductive “Did ya miss me?”, just for kicks _(God, it had been so long since he’d actually been able to touch her. Far, far too long)._ He almost regretted the action.

 _(It would fuel his fantasies for months.)_

With a little help from Devlin though, he was out again in only three years _(“Remember kid, if I ever disappear for more than a few months, you have to bust me out. Just find Ben 10K and his Null Void machine and you’ll find me.”)_ Didn’t count on the stupid kid betraying him, though really it didn’t surprise him much. That had been a short-lived freedom. Nevertheless he did get out again, within a year because it was getting particularly dull the fourth time around. So, out he went, no one the wiser (stupid, foolish Plumbers. Stupid, foolish Ben) and returned to his previous lifestyle, sans the women. Just that one small touch after all those years and Kevin was reminded again why it was Gwen or no one; simply her presence alone _intoxicated_ him. It sent shivers down his spine, imagining (anticipating) a more intimate interaction than her mere presence. He also didn’t think he could handle another kid that wasn’t hers _(he bet she would make a great mom. Not that he knew anything about moms, but she was Gwen so of course she would. Far better than his, most definitely)._

Maybe that was why the dreams were so _real_ in this dimension; here, there pervaded that most cruel and dangerous thing in all the galaxies, that tenacious feeling that far better men than he had both lived and died for: hope. Hope that things would change, work out, that he would ever be happy again. No matter how impossible reality said that was.

But really, he was okay with his pretty lies. Sometimes pretty lies were better. Far better men had lived and died for those too.


End file.
